Sugars Are Ready for First Tournament

In a recent interview with reporters, Sugars’ team captain Mary Hill was confident her team is tournament ready. One Las Vegas oddsmaker isn’t sure.

The Sugars, a first-year team in the SLAMDiabetes Vermont Summer Classic, are ready for the big time of world class wiffle ball. So says team captain Mary Hill.

“We’ve done well recruiting this off-season. My brothers Ceiplicki tell me they’re awesome basketball players and my husband Bill “Spike” Hill says he’s good at hockey; I’m excellent at mahjong and we just recruited a top bass fisherman, too. I’ll know today if we’ve signed a horse jockey and that should give us a really versatile lineup.”

When asked if any of her players have swung a bat, at anything, she shrugged and said, “I’m sure somewhere along the way.”

Shortstop and lead-off hitter Carley Hill was concerned and worked her own magic. “Are you kidding me? When I heard my mom went to Belmont to recruit a jockey to catch, I had to step in. I signed Mike Dooling and Rachel Yandow. Mr. D can hit, field and even lead us in a team cheer, while Rachel is one of the best softball players around. We needed some pop in the lineup and we’re good to go now.”

Vinnie Boombatz, the famed Vegas oddsmaker who’s been tracking SLAMDiabetes tournaments for years, says the key is the crossover.

“16-1. They gotta cross over, and I don’t mean left to right. They gotta take the ball and stick skills and make ’em work for WIFFLE ball. It’s simple, not complex. Picking up Yandow and Dooling by that kid Hill, they were good picks, those picks. They might think about puttin’ her in as captain.”

“But the jockey and the mahjong player? I got questions. If Yandow plays the way scouts tell me she can, they could make some noise. I mean, we’ll see how it sugars off.”